INFLUENTIAL THINK TANK CALLS FOR ACTION ON CRIME AND ANTI-SOCIAL BEHAVIOUR
LONDON, 10th December 2009: UK-based Think Tank THINKIUM has called for immediate and decisive action on law and order as violent gangs fuelled by a lack of respect for authority take over our streets.
Renowned for its out-of-the-box analysis, THINKIUM urges the UK government to implement its recommendations at micro and macro levels in order to reclaim justice for the people of Great Britain.
Empirical analysis of crime statistics, broken down by socio-economic factors shows a wave of violent crime and a lack of respect that became evident in the early 1980s. This sudden increase, THINKIUM analysts note, coincided with a number of factors, the most notable of these being the period that the British Broadcasting Corporation allowed Blue Peter presenters to appear on screen without wearing a collar and tie.
This sudden sea-change by liberal BBC managers told millions of young people that it was "right-on" to spurn authority, sniff glue and rob old ladies for their pension money.
Only a return to the BBC's core values, THINKIUM says, with the immediate return of a tie-wearing Peter Purves, can restore correct attitudes and teach our young people the benefits of a well-meaning, hierarchical society.
Secondly, THINKIUM is hugely disturbed by the waste of resources within the British criminal justice system, with both enforcement and judicial systems being tied down by bureaucracy and poor performance.
THINKIUM recommends the combining the roles of police constable and court officer to create a streamlined criminal justice system where perpetrators may be apprehended, tried in the presence of available witnesses and punished at the scene of the crime by a body of highly-trained, highly-motivated and well-armed "Street Judges"
Due to the lack of suitable individuals for this onerous task, THINKIUM recommends that these "Judges" are cloned from the purest of genetic stock in the laboratories of the Great Hall of Justice. Also: Guns that fire round corners.
Only then, THINKIUM says, with these motorcycle-riding dispensers of urban justice sending young criminals to isolation cubes, will law-abiding citizens be able to call the streets their own.
THINKIUM: "We say what you pay us to say"
THINKIUM is an independent, privately-funded Think Tank with a select client base. Members of THINKIUM are available for analysis, comment and policy direction on matters of governance, law, society, science, faith and environment.